I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
