We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I smell like Dick and happiness
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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