Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
