I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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