Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
