They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
