weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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