you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Bring me that man meat
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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