i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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