their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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