You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
foreskin is a definite game changer
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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