Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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