We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
