is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
