Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
