how can u be prego again
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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