how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
