Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
