Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
