Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
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