apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
that is very illegal...i love you.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
