It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
