He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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