Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
