I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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