there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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