if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
