i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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