At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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