We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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