She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
