turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
you never un-have a 4some
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
