just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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