I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
