I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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