if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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