i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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