There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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