Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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