no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i will never coherently bang her
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
