Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
