ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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