It's Friday. Sex?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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