so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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