she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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