They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
