There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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