Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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