The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He? As in you personified your dick?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Randomize
