Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
