ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
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