FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I fill condoms, not promises.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
