do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
